Mental Orgasms

2003-01-20T02:10:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to be asleep and have to be up early for a meeting, but I can't sleep until I do this.

It was a short run, but I'm ending this weblog. I don't have much interest in it, and considering that I have a journal that is often neglected, as well, something has to give. This is the one that has to go. If you want to follow the journal you can find it here: More Than Just A Space. You're more than welcome to stop by. I recently started a new version of it and there are only three entries, but I do tend to update a few times a month.

I've been keeping an online journal for over three years, but I always delete and start over after a certain point. Why? Because I change and don't want to have all that archived baggage around.

So, adios! Thanks for reading!

2002-12-21T23:50:00.000-05:00

I'm watching "Trading Spaces." Is anyone else addicted to this show? I like it for it's decorating value, the conflicts and the personalities, but it also gives me a certain amount of inspiration for my own work. I don't often get around to actually following through on that inspiration, but I have a notebook filled with various ideas for another time.

If you visited here in the last 10 days you saw the other format I had. Ack. It looked too much like the Partridge Family bus and just had to go. I'll stick with the blue. You can't go wrong with blue.

Today is the Solstice. Did anyone celebrate? Did anyone put seeds out for the birds? Ring any bells? Place your wreath? Give food to a shelter or needy family? I hope at least some of you observed a few traditions today, or the very least did something nice for someone else.

2002-12-11T22:48:00.000-05:00

Wow. Look at all the cobwebs! Man. I'm going to need to do some MAJOR cleaning around here.

In case you're someone I haven't spoken to in a while, or you haven't read it somewhere else, I've been MIA because I was in a major car accident in October. There's no need for details right now, and maybe never. It's enough to say that it was pretty bad.

Anyway, I'm slowly making my way back into the world and I might be around more often here. I'll try.

Did anyone miss me?

2002-10-04T22:42:00.000-04:00

I'm a slug tonight. I don't want to go out or watch tv or play a game or work or do anything other than sleep, which of course I can't seem to accomplish. It sucks to be me right now.

I have three funky vases to finish, a giraffe, two plates, another LARGE giraffe and the Old Guitarist, but not one of them is holding my interest.

I was approached by someone recently, through e-mail, who claimed to be a buyer for a department store in the Caymans. She wanted to buy my vases and any plates I had in the works. This was exciting to me, of course, but since I didn't have all the facts concerning wholesaling or who she worked for, I wrote back and asked several questions. I haven't heard from her since. Either she didn't like my questions, thinks I'm too stupid to deal with, or it was someone fucking with me -- which is exactly WHY I asked the questions I did. My intuition was screaming that this person was just messing with me, and quite frankly, I'm not in the mood to play games right now. So, I guess that's that.

Blah

2002-10-02T01:28:00.000-04:00

Where have I been? Pulling out my hair. Arguing. Crying. Working. Sleeping and not sleeping. Watching football. Welcoming in Autumn. I've been hanging on by a thread.

I've also been playing "Perfect Dark." I don't usually enjoy shoot 'em up games, but this one is pretty entertaining. I've made it into the dark Alaskan night to rescue the President, and I have a feeling I'm getting close to the end of the game. If this is true I'm going to be VERY disappointed, but this is usually how it goes for me and video games. I go through them too quickly. Why? Because I'm good, of course.

My birthday was last week. I'm a whopping 31 years old, and even though I've had a lot of compliments thrown my way, I still tend to feel a little old. I really hate birthdays. I HATE BIRTHDAYS!

One last thing -- that "taunting" call last night in the Broncos game ... fuck that. Taunting, my ass. That's the most ridiculous penalty I've ever seen called. And don't talk to me about my Broncos. They're fine. It was a fluke.

Piss off.

2002-08-31T14:41:00.000-04:00

Cripes. Baseball people can't do anyfuckingthing right. I was so looking forward to seeing them go on strike. I wanted it. ROBBED! I've been robbed, I tell you!

I was watching the news last night and they showed some clips from the MTV Video Awards. What's interesting about this is that right after they showed a shot of Brandy's face, they closed in on her cleavage. Now, things are just never going to be fair until those close-ups hone in on guy's crotches. You know, a camera person notices a bulge and gets a shot of it. That's fair, isn't it?

You guys probably hate this idea, don't you? You don't want anyone checking out *the package.* Wimps. Women have had to deal with it forever. I think it's time to turn the tables a little. Not that this turns me on. It doesn't. I couldn't care less about checking out a guy's crotch. I look at the face. I just think it's the only way to make things fair.

So come on guys. Let's see YOUR packages on the idiot box.

I haven't been updating much because I haven't had a lot to say. I don't expect this trend to change much over the next little while.

2002-08-19T00:44:00.000-04:00

"Beaver Beaver" Has anyone else seen that commercial for TV Land? It cracks me up every single time I see it.

Can you believe you waited 11 days for this post? Heh.

2002-08-10T15:53:00.000-04:00

Oh. And I'd like to point out the fact that I was right about Bill being the Mole, in case you missed it.

2002-08-10T15:33:00.000-04:00

One of my friends is leaving her husband.

I spent a couple hours yesterday talking with her about this, trying to understand, trying to support her, but not being able to. I can't support what she's about to do or her reasons for doing it.

She plans to leave him the next time he goes out of town (he's an attorney). She's going to pack her shit and go, leaving him a note, if that. Why is she doing it? Because she wants to find out if there's more waiting for her. She knew she felt this way when she married him, but never told him about these feelings. He knows nothing about what's about to occur or why.

I just can't support this woman. She's going to look him in the eyes and tell him she loves him, but then sometime next week be a coward and slip away.

I try to support my friends, but I can't this time. It goes against every view of relationships and marriage that I have.

Sometimes it astonishes me how often we throw away the most important things in our lives without making a last attempt at fixing the things that are wrong.

I'm trying not to become even more cynical than I am, but I think I'm losing the battle.

2002-08-06T15:59:00.000-04:00

MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE!

That's right boys and girls, tonight is the final episode and I have to admit to being eager to see it. Watching the clock, making sure everything is done before 9 eager. Chips? Check. Beverage? Check. Phone turned off? Check. Maybe you need a few more clues to how I'm looking forward to it? MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! MOLE! Heh.

I'm still choosing Bill as the Mole, especially after last week's episode when he chose not to look at the Mole's dossier when he had the chance. Not that I think his choice was a mistake. I think I might have done the same thing after going through that hike from Hell, but then I'm very competitive and if I wasn't the Mole, I might very well have wanted to see that information.

I'm going to be sooo surprised and pissed if he's not it.

Heather is going to win. That's my guess, although I'm not 100% on that. Dorothy is very bright and could pull it off.

Heather. Dorothy. Heather. Dorothy. heatherdorothyheatherdorothyheatherdorothy! AHHHHHH! Someone help me!! Pry the remote from my hands!

Man. I'm going to miss the show. Besides Bugs Bunny, it's the best thing on tv. Yeah. It's the simple things in life that make me happy.

BRING ON THE MOLE III!!!

2002-08-05T01:16:00.000-04:00

I'm not big on being politically correct, but umm, there is a little thing called being polite. This isn't an example of that.

Thanks Eric. :) You find the best stuff.

2002-08-04T18:15:00.000-04:00

I just really dig the Friday Five, even if it is Sunday.

1. What is your lineage? Where are your ancestors from? I'm Russian and Lithuanian. I'm a Baltic girl. :) My last name would appear to be Irish or Scottish, but it isn't. It's a shortened version of a Russian name. You'd also think I would have successfully learned Russian in college, but I dropped the class after three weeks.

2. Of those countries, which would you most like to visit? Russia

3. Which would you least like to visit? Why?? Well, since there are only two, I guess I have to say Lithuania, right? Actually, I'd like to visit. The Lithuanian people were the last holdouts when Christianity swept Europe, plus there's a current uprising of Pagan activity. I'd like to witness that firsthand.

4. Do you do anything during the year to celebrate or recognize your heritage? At Christmas I eat Klatzkas. Don't ask. I'll just tell you that they're a family recipe.

5. Who were the first ancestors to move to your present country (parents, grandparents, etc)? My grandparents on both sides

2002-08-02T23:38:00.000-04:00

I've been busy, and just trying to deal with living on the sun. I'm back now, but if this fucking heat doesn't break pretty soon I WILL melt into a pile of goo. You feel sorry for me, right? Don't ya? Come on! Can I get a little pity here?? Wow. You people are brutal.

Now, I do not condone this behavior, but damn it, THIS is what happens when people can't get the help they need for a very ill loved one. THIS is where our healthcare system fails. And if you'll remember, I have firsthand knowledge on this issue. One of my best friends died a couple years ago from Leukemia, after losing everything and not receiving the care he needed because he had no health insurance. Labs wouldn't process his sibling's blood to find a bone marrow match. The entire system pawned him off on everyone else and almost no one helped him. He died a very painful death.

Moving on ...

Like I told the incredibly gorgeous man in my life the other day -- ours is a great country. Here is one of the reasons why. Heh.

The Mole is almost over. One more episode and that's it. This week's show was fabulous, especially when Heather had her little breakdown in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, lost in Italy. She was furious and began telling off the cameramen. Ha. I was cracking up, right up until she and the crew were almost attacked by a wild boar.

If you didn't watch this round of The Mole, I hope you'll tune in if there's a Mole III. It's an excellent show. The extreme paranoid behavior alone makes it worth watching.

2002-07-23T16:45:00.000-04:00

Another hit on school vouchers is necessary, I guess.

I've been seeing where various people see vouchers as a copout by the government, and what they should be doing is forcing public schools to do a better job. I agree with this, but while waiting for the public schools to get with the program, isn't it a good idea to get some of those kids out and into better schools? Do we continue to take out the failures of the public school system on the kids, and eventually society, or do we go ahead and make the effort with vouchers? My opinion is that we should make the effort.

I'm not one to believe in putting a big damn bandage on our societal ills, but this one, I think, warrants attention NOW.

The only problem I have with private schools is that most teach religious moral theory, as well. If you know me, you know that I don't support any type of religious teachings in school, but at this point, with the need for better educated citizens in this country, I'm willing to overlook this. For now. My hope is that within the next decade our public schools will be more in tune with what the kids need and will produce truly educated individuals, but that's not happening so, send the kids to private schools.

Something needs to be done. The status quo certainly isn't getting it.

2002-07-22T21:19:00.000-04:00

I don't blame the parents of Samantha Runnion for her abduction and murder. Not in any way. What I think her case brings to light, though, is that you can't leave young children in the yard by themselves.

I'm not sure where I read it, but I saw a comment about this, something like if you leave your five year old outside to play alone, you are essentially leaving a five year old in a five year old's care. I agree with this.

I know parents can't watch their kids every second, but the information about how long it takes a child molester/killer to grab them has been out for over a decade. This is information we all know. Young children cannot be left by themselves, not even in their own yard, or the yard of a neighbor. Period.

Of course, it seems even letting them sleep in their own room is unsafe from time to time, but really, a five year old is not old enough to play outside alone.

And if Avila is found guilty, this is pretty much the only crime that I support the death penalty on. If he's not put to death, and someday gets out, he'll do this again. Recidivism for pedophiles/child killers is almost 100%. If he's guilty, fry that sick fuck.

So much for my professionalism, right? For those of you just tuning in, I have a Masters in Psychology even though I don't work in my profession any longer. Even with that degree, and probably because of it, I still say kill him.

2002-07-21T20:57:00.000-04:00

I'm annoyed.

Okay. This whole TIPS issue. Sure, it may be nothing. There may not be one person who is turned in that doesn't deserve to be watched. That's the ideal, right? If that's how it goes, great. Wonderful. BUT ... what happens when someone, someone completely innocent, makes a comment about how our government doesn't always do as it should, and a TIPS volunteer overhears it and turns them in? What if a person, as I've read in other places, buys an abundance of fertilizer, and the clerk behind the counter is another TIPS volunteer and decides that that person needs to be watched? And what about the overeager TIPS volunteer who hasn't found anyone to turn in? What if they decide to make shit up, turning in someone they dislike just for the fuck of it? Do you see what I'm getting at?

TIPS is going to be a problem. It's going to put citizen against citizen, neighbor against neighbor. Plus, when you couple this with the Patriot Act, I believe there's a bit of a problem brewing in this country. And really, if the ACLU is concerned, you should be too. It pays to be vigilant, even in America, maybe ESPECIALLY in America.

This is just how I feel. Maybe you don't mind a few of your rights being trampled on to stop terrorism. Me, well, if my rights are to be trampled, I'd prefer it to be for more important issues like stopping child abuse, domestic violence and animal abuse. To me, those issues are a bit more important because they disrupt everyday society. Hell, I can't even get Child Services to look into a woman who is absolutely, positively abusing her children almost every day of the damn week! I've seen it. Others have seen it. Since when is terrorism more important than that? Granted, it's a terrifying thing, but damn it, child abuse is something that will perpetuate more violence and poverty in this country, and to me THAT'S more important.

No. I'm not willing to give up my liberties to stop terrorism -- not in the form of TIPS anyway. We have bigger, more important issues in this country that need to be addressed first. Trample a few rights to save a child or a woman or a dog who is getting beaten and who lives in fear every day of their lives. Until then, don't talk to me about TIPS. I don't want to hear it.

2002-07-20T15:47:00.000-04:00

Sorry, but this totally cracks me up. Heh. "Help meeeee!"

I agree. I agree. I agree. I'm sick of politicians, and anyone else for that matter, who wishes to stand between our nation's children and their chances at a better education. I mean, who doesn't get this yet? 1) The public schools are not doing their job properly, and 2) Our society suffers exponentially with every child whose education is below average. It's in our best interests to educate our citizens, ALL of our citizens. Vouchers? Yes! Serenity now! Ha.

I know it's late, but with a teaser like the following, I just can't resist posting it anyway. David Steinberg: "I find the thought of the President of the United States, with his ass in the air, about to be penetrated by White House physician Richard Tubb, particularly appealing, even if the man was unconscious at the time."

2002-07-19T05:21:00.000-04:00

I'm awake. I'm also thinking about relationships.

I spoke to a friend in the wee hours, who's having some issues in her marriage. The problems she's having are some of the very ones that frighten me. I know exactly what she's feeling because I've experienced some of the same things.

She and her husband will work it out, though. It will be rough -- harsh words will be spoken and tears will be shed, but they'll get it. I just feel for her right now because I sooooo understand that pain.

This is an opportunity for me to share a little of who I am. My friend -- we'll call her Kim, caused me to reflect a little. I've been doing more of that lately anyway because sometimes I see the following facts as flaws, and there are times I wish I was a little more laid back.

I can spot almost any lie as soon as it's uttered, and I don't handle secrets, sneakiness, or a pulling back of emotions and affection very well. Mostly, though, and this is where I feel like I'm flawed sometimes, I'm an overly affectionate person. I'm incredibly intense, romantic, open, and when I'm in a serious relationship I give 110%. I wear my heart on my sleeve. That sucker pumps out the name of the man I love. It's obvious. I want feelings to be shared, and those sappy moments that come from pouring out what's in your heart, even if the words are cliche or might seem silly. To me they mean something, especially when the person expressing them takes that risk of looking silly because they love me. It isn't that I need those expressions, it's that I want them. I like hearing that I'm adored and loved and that I fill someone's heart with silly glee, and when those expressions disappear then I tend to wilt some, even if the feelings are still there. This might be a weakness in my personality, but it's who I am and I never pretend otherwise.

This is not always an easy way for me to be. I never hide the fact that I'm this intense, but I almost always hide the pain when I'm not getting a certain level of that sappiness in return. Why? Because most people mistake my desire for neediness. It isn't neediness. It's a truly romantic heart that doesn't care if I look silly when I tell someone that they make me happy or that I love loving them, and that I truly am interested in who they are. I delight in making the person I love feel that love. It's always important to me that that person KNOW they're loved. And I practically dance when that level of romance is given back to me. I flourish.

I didn't know exactly why I was writing all of this when I started. I thought it was for me -- a cleansing of sorts, and it IS that, but I just realized that it's also for Kim (and even for another friend who I had a recent discussion with along these lines). Kim and I are quite similar in some ways and I know she views herself as needy and bitchy and somewhat off right now. The fact is, though, that she isn't. She knows what she needs and wants. She's wilting, and I just don't want her to feel like she's alone. She's not. She's not alone and she's not wrong.

It's not easy to be so intense. It's not easy on those of us who are this way and it's not easy on those we love or who love us. But I think we're worth the trouble. I know we are.

2002-07-18T19:32:00.000-04:00

Oh. And I keep forgetting to mention that Wil Wheaton has a journal (Thanks for the link Kinz). This is very cool to me because 1) I'm a Next Gen fan and 2) He's not a snobby celeb. He's a real guy with a family and problems just like the rest of us and he isn't always trying to pretend otherwise. Plus, he swears creatively. I always appreciate this in people. Heh.

2002-07-18T19:19:00.000-04:00

What I want to know is this -- are we living in the Dark Ages or what? And, excuse me, but does the 1ST Amendment ring any fucking bells? This is just complete ignorance and it infuriates me.

First -- these people simply do not get it. Second -- these people are too afraid of the truth to really look at it. Third -- these people manipulate information and use scare tactics to frighten children into not thinking for themselves. And fourth -- These people are willing to go to great lengths, sometimes dangerous ones, to make their point.

It's fanaticism. Period. And it scares me more than terrorism ever will.

2002-07-16T20:07:00.000-04:00

The perfect pledge.

I pledge allegiance to the earth and all the life it supports. One planet, in our care, irreplaceable, with sustenance and respect for all.

I have no idea who wrote that, but THAT'S a pledge I can get behind.

2002-07-13T03:32:00.000-04:00

Darwin was taken out of the game on The Mole. Crap. He was my favorite player and, if you've been paying attention, one of my suspects on being the mole. I still think it's Bill, though. He's been my choice from the beginning.

So, let's say this all together -- I CAN'T SLEEP. That's right boys and girls. Stephanie can't sleep and I have no freaking idea why. I'm tired. I'm calm. I don't feel like doing anything except maybe having wild, passionate, animalistic sex, but that's not going to happen, so you'd think I'd just go to sleep. Nope. Not me.

Are you feeling my pain? No? Piss off.

I've mentioned to some people that the penguin I made is just not what I wanted. Not completely. He's cute and he's big, but something is missing. Plus, he's just not quite right. Anyway, I've decided to make him a top hat. I formed it this evening. I held the pieces together and put it on his big round head and he looks adorable. Heh. He looks like Hoboken Penguin from the Bugs Bunny cartoon 8-Ball, except he stands almost five feet tall.

If you're just joining us and don't know anything about me, you might want to check out the first link on the sidebar -- Big Frog Creations. That's my gallery and it'll give you a clue about what I'm talking about. Or not. Maybe you don't give a shit.

I think I'm detecting a little sleepiness. Wait.

Hold on.

Yeah. I think that's what it is. And with that, I'm going to put in a movie, maybe Animal House, and climb into bed, with the hope of going to sleep. Wish me luck.

2002-07-07T15:34:00.000-04:00

CART's on today (I'm watching it now). The American Le Mans out of Wisconsin is on afterward. You just can't get much better than that.

VROOOM!

2002-07-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

Over half of the hits to this weblog are through searches for Manolo Blahniks. There are a hell of a lot of people out there interested in that shoe. And that's as it should be.

I wonder if any of those people actually read anything while they're here? Not that it matters. I'm just curious.

2002-07-06T00:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not a fan (simply because I've never read his work. I might become one), but did you know Neil Gaiman has a journal? He does.

Blogger was down earlier so I couldn't post. Now I don't remember what it was I wanted to say besides telling you about Neil Gaiman.

Sad isn't it?

A woman so young shouldn't have this kind of shitty memory. I mean, I'm only 30, but I have the memory of a person at least 100. Although this is selective. There are some things I never have a problem remembering. Buying toilet paper isn't one of them, though. I've had to return to the store three times in one day just to buy some. It was the only thing I needed, but I couldn't seem to get home with it.

This is why I make lists to remind myself to make more lists. I write everything down. You wouldn't believe the stacks of little pieces of paper I have everywhere.

Maybe I should be writing my lists on toilet paper.

2002-07-03T19:53:00.000-04:00

I'm in a VERY bad mood. Let's just get to it.

Let the woman OUT!

School vouchers? Yes. Why? Because the public schools have been trying to improve for over a decade and they've made very little headway. There are children out there who NEED the opportunity to get out of those schools NOW. Educated children mean a better society overall. Shame on you, Congressman Rangel of Harlem, for not knowing this. I'm sick of your rhetoric.

I think I'm going to drop dead from the heat soon.

The woman in Michigan who left her kids to fry in the car while she got her hair done and then lied to police, saying she had been abducted and raped ... I'd love to see her tried on murder charges as would most other people, but it just isn't going to happen. She'll get manslaughter. Hopefully the child she's pregnant with will be removed from her custordy as soon as it's born, though.

I don't know why, but I'm always amazed when people are so stupid.

I'm still in a fucking bad mood.

2002-07-01T01:51:00.000-04:00

Oh, and by the way. I've decided that I don't like Crank Yankers. It's just not for me. I'm a Bugs Bunny kind of girl and that just isn't going to change.

2002-07-01T01:01:00.000-04:00

There's a gender-ism discussion going on in several blogs. A lot of great things have been said about the subject, and I'm not so sure that I have much of anything fresh to offer, but I'm going to say something anyway.

What makes a man a man and a woman a woman? The difference in hormones, sexual organs, the reproductive system and 75 cents on the dollar for working women. Okay. Strike that last one. I'm only kidding. I'm not one of these people who sits around and bitches about how certain groups of people are being held back by the 40 year old white, American, protestant male. I think it's basically crap. We each make decisions that shape our lives. You can be whatever you want to be.

But that's not what this discussion is about, really. It's more about how men become men and women become women.

My opinion is that it's mostly evolution and environment.

Which one is more predominant? In my opinion it's environment.

Yes, we are a culmination of all things that came before us in the past millions of years. That's true. We'll never get away from the ancient parts of ourselves completely. That's why there's such a thing as Evolutionary Psychology. But what I see as the larger deciding factor is society, and I realize I've just labeled myself as a traitor to my professionn by siding with the sociologists of the world, but I happen to believe it's true. Many things make us what we are, but society dictates it the most.

If you don't believe me, ask a child of about the age of five or six who they are, what they think of themselves, and they'll almost always go to one of their parents or spout something from televison. Of course, children of that age still have trouble processing in the abstract, but everything they are they've learned from those adults around them, from televison and books, and sometimes, unfortunately, from their church. What a place for humans to learn who they are. Oh man. Don't even get me started on mind crippling moral theory. Let's just move along before this gets ugly.

We are our labels. We wear them, honor them and become them. Unfortuantely within our society, some people, in spite of the data concerning this, still see little girls as soft and sweet and better at some things than boys, and worse at others. And, of course, this is also true for boys. We don't seem to be able to get away from the sterotypes completely. They still infiltrate child rearing. If a child doesn't get this information from their parents, they pick it up from many other sources. Little girls who are good at sports are still called tomboys. Little boys who seem more sensitive than someone thinks they should be are told to toughen up, to not be sissies. Little girls are told they're pretty. Little boys are told they're brave. The list goes on and on. These are the labels we all wear. And before any parents get pissed off at me, I think I've made it clear that some parents aren't doing this. Some parents are intelligent enough to try avoiding the labels. What I'm saying is that even with those parents doing their jobs, children still run into the labels in their daily activities.

So, that's an extremely simplified breakdown of my opinion on the whole gender-ism issue.

2002-06-24T14:04:00.000-04:00

The government could bail out failing Amtrak. Okay. Fine. Part of the restructuring that's needed is in the pricing.

Several years ago I wanted to take a trip on the shiny silver train. I called them up and told them where I wanted to go and the woman told me it would cost just over $700 (and I wasn't going across the country). I couldn't stop the fit of laughter that followed. I mean, I howled into that receiver. She was patient, but clearly annoyed, asking what was so funny and waiting for me to calm down and respond, and the only thing I could think of to ask was if I had given her the indication that I was traveling with others? She said no, that the price was calculated for one person. That made me laugh even harder. I finally just hung up because I didn't know what to say. It was an outrageous fare.

Yeah. Bail out Amtrak, and do a reality check on their prices.

2002-06-23T23:57:00.000-04:00

Anyone seen Crank Yankers on Comedy Central? I watched it tonight and kind of got into it.

It's celebrities making real prank phone calls and puppets acting it all out. Many times it's pretty sexual so it's not suitable for children (that's why it's on at 10:30 pm), but some of you might enjoy it.

I think what I like most is that it's a unique idea. That's not something we get much of on television these days.

2002-06-23T17:51:00.000-04:00

I went to the Air Show today. Cripes. Even though I knew ahead of time that things were going to be slow going, security was still annoying and almost extreme. I'm not complaining really (maybe a little), I'm just saying that I found it somewhat excessive.

People had nail files taken from them, and I even saw one woman's shoes -- heels, checked out. Now, why the hell she wore heels to an air show is beyond me, but still. It seemed odd that security would actually ask her to remove them so they could be inspected. That's excessive to me.

It took almost a half hour to get in, and while I'm all for taking precautions, I think the security for this event was a bit over the top.

I guess that's the kind of world we live in now.

I will say this, though. A lot of people seemed surprised at how it went down, but had they read a newspaper or even listened to the news, they would have known that security was going to be at least a little tighter. Next time, check. I was ready to scream a couple times because some people had no clue.

Oh, and Jenna, if you're reading this, I've been responding to all of your e-mails. Smack that Hotmail account around a little and make it spit them out. Heh.

2002-06-22T00:46:00.000-04:00

Summer. It has officially arrived and all I have to say to that is Phhhhht. Go away.

I've never been one to enjoy hot weather. I love hot food, hot peppers, hot tea, hot clothes, hot spicy perfumes, hot showers and a certain hot guy, but I detest hot days and nights. If I could find a place where the temperature never gets above 75 in the summer, I'd be happy to live there. The only problem with such a place is that it probably also gets down to
-50 in the winter, and as much as I enjoy cold weather, that won't work either.

Weather. It's always been a factor in my life. That's weird, huh? Oh well. I'm a weird person.

2002-06-20T15:18:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about some of the articles I've read lately, and things I've seen on the news, and found that I had something to say. I think this will be mostly hit & run.

The forest employee who started the Hayman Fire in Colorado. This still stuns me. It's infuriating that she was on duty to enforce the fire ban, but decided to burn a letter, killing animals, destroying thousands of acres of trees, burning buildings and putting people at risk. What was that incredibly ignorant woman thinking?? And the fact that she's from Colorado? I can't even begin to express my anger over that.

Reparations for slavery. Yesterday was Juneteenth so this is timely.

I don't know. My first thought here is if we're going to give reparations for that then we MUST do more for the Native Americans as well. Regardless of what we do concerning slavery, we have to right the wrongs against them as well.

Anyway ... reparations for slavery. How exactly is that to be accomplished? First it has to be determined which individuals are descended from slaves in this country. I don't think money should be handed out to those who have no claim. Then what, give each one of those people $5,000, $10,000, some such amount of money? Is that really the way to handle it?

What about pouring money into specific social programs that will benefit African-American children? Or maybe programs to help more African-Americans secure business and home loans. Tax breaks? What?

I don't know if I support reparations or not. If you ask me right this second, my answer is yes, but if you ask me tomorrow, my answer might be no. It's not that I don't think it's a worthy thing to do, it's that I don't see how it can be accomplished successfully.

And one other thing. This claim by some African-Americans concerning slavery being the reason, or even A reason for learning problems and violent behavior? Give it up. That's one of the most laughable attempts at pity I've ever heard.

Bill O'Reilly. He is the undisputed king of television.

Southwest Airlines has established a policy that will force those people who are overweight to the point of needing more than one seat, to purchase two seats. Actually, they've had this policy for some time, but haven't enforced it consistently.

I support this only from a business and consumer point of view it's fair. Each seat costs money and if someone needs two then I believe they should pay for them because if they don't the airlines just passes their loss of revenue down to the consumer and everyone pays more to fly. Not that the airlines aren't robbing us in the first place, but giving them even more reason to gouge us does not make me happy. My feelings on this have nothing to do with the people themselves, and the first person who writes to me implying otherwise is going to get a great big Kiss my ass in response.

2002-06-12T10:54:00.000-04:00

I'd just like to say this: If you go to Colorado or any other scenic state, or maybe visit a state park where you live, check with the NUMEROUS park rangers that you'll see along the way, or simply read the damn signs before you camp to make sure that fire bans aren't in place. If they are, make sure you understand that a ban means NO FUCKING FIRES! Are we clear on this?

I have people and interests in danger today because some ignorant person or persons thought they knew what they were doing with a campfire, a banned campfire -- banned because the area was dry, banned because the humidity was less than 5%, banned because the people making decisions KNEW that the area could go up with a spark.

Some people simply should not be allowed to walk around without constant adult supervision. If you're one of those people who believes they know more than the park rangers and fire officials in my state, stay away. Don't visit Colorado. Stay where you are or go visit New Jersey or somewhere else. We don't need your tourist dollars because you will inevitably end up costing the people and animals who DO live there much more than you imagined. We'd much rather have people visit who respect nature, wildlife and LAWS.

And if you happen to live in Colorado and are one of those people who doesn't listen when there's a fire ban -- either because of the possibility of fires or because of the brown cloud during winter, shame on you. You're putting others at risk. You have no excuse.

2002-06-11T17:06:00.000-04:00

Does anyone remember any of the numbers of the journals that the players initially grabbed on The Mole II? I'm looking for who had numbers 1-5, in case you know any of them. I've been noticing something unusual with the hidden clues to the Mole's identity and it has something to do with the journals -- at least in part.

Anyway, my guess so far on the identity is this: I'm leaning toward retired admiral Bill about 60% and lawyer Darwin 40%. This fluctuates between 60 and 90% for the admiral, but I think Darwin is the only other possibility so I'm keeping him in the running. I'm basing this on the above mentioned hidden clues, the way certain events have gone, and my gut instinct.

What do you think? Hello? Is anyone else watching this show or is it just me?

2002-06-08T16:50:00.000-04:00

Wade Horn wants $300 million to go into programs that will promote and help marriages in this country.

In an article in Time, it's said Horn would like to see the money, in the form of grants, go toward ... things like family-therapy centers and health clinics that offer courses in parenthood or prewedding counseling.

I think this is an excellent idea. There's a lot more to making a successful marriage, things that begin in early childhood, but to take a proactive approach, to teach people what the issues might be, how to handle the stresses of marriage, AND to even extend that into parental workshops, well I just have to say "Let's do it!"

These are worthy things to spend government money on. These are things that I don't mind my tax dollars being used for because programs like these reach even further than their intended targets.

When marriage is strengthened, families are strengthened, children are better cared for. This is good for society as a whole.

Indiana's Democratic Senator Evan Bayh, a fan of Horn's, says that marriage promotion is worth a try. "What's the harm?" he asks. For his part, Horn swears he's not out to be the bad cop of matrimony or to trap people in abusive unions. Good question -- what exactly IS the harm? I don't see any.

A question brought up in the article is Can the government help in creating successful marriages? I agree with the response of Why not try? It might take some trial and error, but at least it's a positive step in an interesting direction. It's time to take all of the data gathered by psychologists and sociologists over the past couple of decades and put it all to the test.

If it's done properly -- with clear goals, I believe we as a society can greatly benefit from these types of experimental programs.

Even though I have a pretty good head on my shoulders, pre-marriage counseling is going to be something I do before saying, well, I do. It's just repsonsible behavior, in my opinion. It'll be good for me, the man I marry and for the relationship as a whole to have a few sessions. The bonding alone is worth the time.

Personally, I think it (pre-marital counseling) should be mandatory, but that's just me.

2002-06-07T18:12:00.000-04:00

The Mole is back. Thank goodness! Now I'll make it until Survivor 5 comes out.

Ha. God red flags NASCAR

There's going to be an unusual sunset on Monday, June 10th, and North America has a great seat.

Bum Fights. Greta Van Susteren laid into the creator of this video when he wouldn't divulge how much, if any, compensation was being offered to the various homeless involved. When he went on to say that he was using the homeless to help bring attention to their plight, I thought Ms. Van Susteren was going to climb over her desk and smack him. Go Greta!

As scum-like as I see Bum Fights, my hope is that it will actually do something for the homeless, pissing people off enough to make them act.

Probably not. I'm cynical when it comes to people actually becoming enraged enough to help others. Why? Because too many talk a good talk, but when it comes to doing something to help others, they usually never get past the initial thought.

Nevermind. I'm feeling a tad bitchy today.

Can I just say that the DC police are bungling the Levy investigation even more than the Boulder police did with Jon Benet?

And does anyone else think something is terribly wrong with the details of Elizabeth Smart's disappearance? Maybe it's just me. I'm suspicious a lot of the time, but I'm also aware of the facts concerning kidnappings, molestations, rapes and murders -- something along the line of 80% are committed by family members or someone known to the victims. Very rarely are crimes of this sort perpetrated by complete strangers.

Crimes against children and animals sickens me. The most defenseless of beings seem to be the targets of the most horrific crimes and treatment. So much for a civilized society.

2002-06-04T16:23:00.000-04:00

I don't have much to say. It's awful how devoid of interest my mind has been recently. Well, devoid of things that I feel like sharing, anyway. There's a lot that interests me, but a lot of it isn't for publication.

So why am I even bothering to open up Blogger and update? I don't know. I guess I'm hoping something interesting will occur to me and I can share it. Uh huh. That's what I'm hoping.

Nothing yet.

Umm, wait. I think I feel the wheels turning a little.

False alarm. There's nothing happening.

Damn.

Let's see, recently I found this kind of funny, although I've never had a problem with Ebay.

The Man Song made me laugh, even though I hate to see relationships that are conducted this way.

It annoys me when couples talk to all of their friends and anyone else who will listen to the problems they're having in a relationship, but won't talk to each other. This really doesn't have anything to do with the above link, I'm just saying that it's something that bugs me. If you're talking to everyone but your mate then your problems are much bigger than you thought. You've let the molehill grow into a mountain.

I'm not implying that I'm perfect. I like to think of myself that way, but I'm aware that I'm not. Damn it. I think, though, that I communicate well in a relationship. I might put something off for a time just to see if it corrects itself, but normally, within a day or a few days of an issue that's bugging me, I'll speak up, and I'll do it in a "Can we talk" or "This is what I'm feeling right now" kind of way, not in a "You're a bastard" attack, although that route has happened once or twice in my past relationships.

I'm generally too fair minded to allow that to happen much, though.

Getting back to what I originally mentioned -- if you aren't talking to your mate about what's wrong then how can you expect to fix it? Your friends can't do it for you. No one else can help, except to maybe give you a little perspective, but really, you're going to have to talk to him/her eventually so why wait? Why bring in a third party?

I've been in a couple relationships where the guy told his friends about us, above and beyond what's normally shared. They'd talk about our problems, a lot of the things going on between us and maybe complain about something I'd done, and I noticed the looks when those friends would see me or we'd be out with a group of people. It's an uncomfortable feeling because they're looking in from the outside, not seeing the entire picture. It's a relationship breaker, in my opinion.

Okay. So I didn't have a ton to say, but at least there's something. Give me a break. It's only Tuesday and my mind doesn't really pick up speed after the weekend until about Wednesday night.

2002-05-30T23:29:00.000-04:00

My ode to Manolo Blahniks. What?? You don't know what a Blahnik is?? How can that be? Oh the tragedy!

Manolo Blahniks are THE shoe of shoes -- stiletto heels, many with delicate straps around the ankles, the absolute sexiest of all shoes ... and of course, a monster price tag to go along with all of this (generally $400 and up).

I own two pairs of them. I never loan them out and I only wear them during the most special of times. They make my legs look even better than they are, and my feet -- my sloth toes disappear and become the most gorgeous of little toes when I slip into my Blahniks.

I know we women are supposed to rebel against heels and that I'm probably going to be considered a traitor to my gender, not to mention spoiled, but I don't care. Don't hate me because of my Manolo Blahniks. Try on a pair and tell me you don't feel and look sexier than you ever have.

Here are various articles (not all completely positive because of this silliness about heels being bad for our backs) and pictures of the unequaled shoe.

Time.Com's Fashionista - Heel Thy Self!

Manolo Blahnik: King of Shoes

Neiman Marcus -- Evening Shoes

Objects of Desire

Okay, so this chick has it even worse than I do, for her shoes, but not by much. Heh

Climbing the Highest Heel

2002-05-30T01:25:00.000-04:00

I just read an excellent article concerning Palestine and Israel both needing adult supervision -- Robert Wright's Both Sides Now. It's nice to see someone else notices how Israel isn't as attuned to peace as so many seem to believe it is. Even with that, it's a very well balanced article.

Bush Whacked. Not what you think, or maybe it is. I don't know how efficient you are with free association. You'll also notice in the first part of this piece that Abercrombie & Fitch are not the only ones trying to dress little girls in questionable attire.

Anyway, as for the rest of the article, the Landing Strip is a good look - just enough.

The FBI announced it's going to shift from being reactive to proactive. My reaction to this "It's about damn time," but why do I also feel a sense of trepidation when I hear those words? Maybe because government agencies have a tendency to go above and beyond what's necessary?

2002-05-27T18:21:00.000-04:00

Where the hell do I sign up?? I want it now! Gimme gimme GIMME! This is, without a doubt, the best news I've heard since December 12, 2001 (curious about that one, aren't you?).

Dealing with tampons only four times a year. Having cramps only four times a year. Having to worry about leaks only four times a year. Hating men only four times a year. I can live with that. I can. I want it. Approve it and let's go!

I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with my period only four times a year. "Absolute relief" comes to mind. I suffer from almost debilitating cramps with mine -- ones that make me throw up and can, at times, keep me in bed crying and sleeping for a couple days straight. It's always been this way for me. The only relief I get is when I overload on Ibuprofen -- usually 1,600 mg. every three to four hours for four to five days, but even then the cramps can be so bad that I still feel them and suffer.

I once lost a job over my period. It had just started that day (My period. Not the job) and I didn't have enough Ibuprofen with me so the cramps were out of control. I couldn't do my job, and the manager, a man who didn't understand that he was very close to becoming a casualty at work, or anything about women, obviously, wouldn't listen to me...even as he watched me vomit in the bathroom while he yelled at me. I guess he thought I could throw up on demand and that I wanted to go shopping or something. He wrote me up for disobeying a superior and then wanted me to sign it so he could let me go. I ripped up the complaint and flushed it, watching it swirl down the toilet with the contents of my stomach, and told him he didn't have to fire me. I quit. Then he just stood there, his face a very interesting shade of red, watching me as I got up from the floor of the women's bathroom and proceeded to wash my face, brush my teeth and clean myself up. As I left, I shoved him into the wall and told him that if he ever saw me on the street that it would be in his best interest to run because if I caught him I'd rip his balls off so he might understand a little about what I was going through. He had the decency to look afraid, but pulled himself together and told me to get out.

I never saw him again, but if I had, I would have made good on my threat, or, at the very least, kicked him so hard that he cried like a baby and swelled up like a watermelon.

So yes, PLEASE approve Seasonale. Now.

2002-05-26T17:34:00.000-04:00

The first week without Survivor has passed and it's official, I'm in withdrawal. I checked the cable guide every day this week just to make sure they didn't sneak in a Greatest Moments or You're so pathetic, here you go, one last look episode, but nope, nothing.

It took me a while to warm up to Survivor 4. Rob was one of the biggest asses it's been my displeasure to see on the show and I admit that I jumped up and down and cheered when he was voted off. Then there was Sean. He annoyed the hell out of me with all the talk about race and how no one other than a black person could possibly understand where he's coming from. Excuse me, but slavery ended over a hundred years ago and I'd say that things are pretty damn good nowadays, for everyone. Give it a fucking rest with the racial whining.

I think the majority of the players this time were stupid and I was glad to see most of them go.

Paschal, in my opinion, was the only person worthy of winning, other than maybe Kathy, but because the powers-that-be decided it was okay to change the tie-breaker rules to something as asinine as choosing rocks, he was sent packing. It's the only move I've seen on the show that I considered unfair.

I was disappointed in the winner. To me, playing the game is one thing. Playing it with integrity is entirely different and MUCH more complicated and difficult. I root for the players with integrity, based on that opinion. It didn't happen this time.

Oh well. Onward to Survivor 5, which doesn't freaking start for at least three months. Ahhhh! What the hell am I supposed to watch in the meantime?

Here's a question that needs to be asked -- why the hell does everyone love Raymond? I mean, come on. The guy is stupid, selfish, sexist and annoying. Why is that show and that man so popular? Can anyone tell me? If you watch it, why? Nothing you say will change my mind, but I'd love to hear some of the reasons anyone might have for watching something so incredibly mind-numbing.

To me it would be punishment if I had to watch that show. NOOOOOOO! Not THAT!! Please. Can't you poke my eyes out with a fork instead?? I suppose there are some of you who have the same distaste for Survivor. The difference is that you're wrong and I'm right. Heh.

2002-05-25T18:32:00.000-04:00

The moon shuts off the beams of the sun as it passes across it, and darkens so much of the earth as the breadth of the blue-eyed moon amounts to.
- Empedocles (Greek, 493-433 BC) Fragment (ca. 450 BC)

In other words, there's a lunar eclipse Sunday. I know -- I'm so dramatic. Anyway, sadly (for me, at least), it will be best viewed mainly from the western United States, Asia, Australia and the Pacific. I'll be watching anyway ... just in case.

Here's a list of other upcoming solar and lunar events.

Click here for more information on viewing and photographing a lunar eclipse. I can't get my telescope to do anything I want it to, but maybe you'll have some luck.

2002-05-25T00:01:00.000-04:00

The Tingler.
I don't know about you, but I'd REALLY have to trust someone to let them use it on me.

Hansel and Gretel acquitted of murder.
Now, THERE'S some news.

2002-05-23T12:57:00.000-04:00

Since I couldn't sleep last night, I watched "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" It's an excellent movie with a value lesson and, of course, stars the amazing Spencer Tracey, but on top of that there's a part of the dialogue that I've always felt is something many parents forget.

At one point in the film, Sidney Poitier is trying to get through to his father about their differences, and he refutes a comment made by his father concerning how he *owes* him for all the work he did to help keep him in clothes and school, etc. Poitier looses his cool and comes back with how he doesn't owe his father anything and that it's his father and mother who owe HIM simply because they brought him into the world, and all the work he did to support him was his job, his duty to his child.

I agree with this. It's dead on. If a person or couple choose to have a child, or even if they don't choose, but end up with one anyway, it becomes their responsibility to be able to pay for that child, to make sure that it has what it needs -- from clothes to medical care to an education. It's the parent's responsibility to be patient and loving and to give that child the best of themselves. The child owes them nothing because he/she didn't have any say in being brought into the world.

I think too many people forget this, if they think of it at all.

What's interesting to me is that when you go to your local Humane Center to adopt a dog or cat, you have to prove you're able to provide a good home for the animal. One of the questions in a potential adoption is whether or not you can afford medical care if your pet gets sick. This is a viable question. I can't imagine adopting or taking in a pet without having the resources to attend to it's health.

So, why is it different when it comes to having children? Granted, I'm much more fond of animals than I am of 99% of the people on this planet, but we're talking about a being who has the potential to become either viable or a major drain on society, someone who has no choice in being born, and who, for many years, isn't able to take care of themselves and is at the mercy of the adults around them. We're talking a sentient being here.

Why aren't the standards for having children as stringent as adopting a dog?

It's an unpopular stand to take, but my opinion is that not just anyone should be allowed to have children, or at least not until certain conditions are met. Yes, some people end up being fantastic parents without being forced to prove what they're made of, but unfortunately that's not true as often as it should be, or could be. I believe our world, and the children born into it, all of us, would be better served by mandatory classes in human development and responsible parenting for all adults who wish to have children. I believe they (the potential parents) should have to prove that they can offer at least the minimum in health insurance, food and clothes, and that they're mentally and emotionally prepared, to at least a minimum level, to handle what it takes to raise another human being.

What could possibly be more important for us as humans than to understand other humans?

Hell, most people, including myself, learn how to take proper care of a plant before buying and bringing one home. The children of the world don't even rate above a radish. Isn't there something wrong with that?

2002-05-23T04:06:00.000-04:00

I must be insane. I have a business. I have a personal life to attend to. I have obligations, yet here I am at Blogger creating another time suck. Someone slap me.

I should be in bed, but the experts say that too much sleep reduces your life expectancy. Since I'm all about prevention I thought I'd do my part.

Okay!! I can't sleep. For those of you who know me, this isn't new information.

I had a dream the other night that Samantha Stevens, you know, Bewitched, was my mother. Do you think this means I might be watching a little too many of the old sitcoms? Too much Nick at Nite and UPN can be a dangerous thing.

Enough rambling. I swear, news tomorrow. News or something intelligent. Really. Uh huh.

Move along. Nothing to see here, folks.